Hey Guys,
So I had day and night classes today and they went very well. I’m still having second thought about going to college, because I feel like I can’t do it. That I’m not worth, bettering myself, but I still do it because I like to learn. Anyways I was in my Intro to Human Services class and we were talking about Therapists and how they should and shouldn’t act when their clients are around. So I rose my hand, telling my teacher and five other students that I don’t even know, what happen to me back in February, the reason why I started writing on here. And they didn’t judge me, they didn’t say I was stupid for what I did, but they did agree that they way my mom handle the situation was wrong and then kick me out almost a year later. It felt good to know that these adults, that don’t even know me, cares about me. They care that I’m going to school and working my butt off and still trying to have fun. So we got to leave class early and I messaged my friends in the group chat, saying I get to go home early and I didn’t want to see my “boyfriend” (That’s another story, for another time), but anyways. I was planning on just going home and doing some homework, but my BFFL called asking if I wanted to hangout and course I did because she was gonna be around for the week, so duh I want to spend as much time with her as I can. So I was walking to the parking lot of the school and I was about to take a picture of my Sexy car (I just washed in and cleaned the inside, it look AMAZING), but they pulled up right next to me, so I didn’t take the picture. But we decided to hangout after I dropped the car, so they were gonna meet me at home. So we had a race that of course I won because I know short cuts to get to my house, especially when I stay out too late. So I dropped the car off, we go get another friend and we go to Subway, which everything was fine and I appreciate that she got me food, but once we dropped her off, I felt like a third wheel for some reason. I don’t know why, but I did. Like the only reason why they know each other is because of me and my other friend, but they have so many inside jokes and stuff. I don’t know. I also hate that I get dropped off first, Yes I know I live in Detroit and it’s scary, but gosh I hate it because I know they hangout a little bit more after they get rid of me. I miss how it was in High School how I got to pick who I got to hangout with that weekend and there were so many to pick from, but I also picked my BFFL because I loved hangout with her. But it seems like everyone is hanging out without me because I’m so sassy and independent and I come off as a butch woman and some people are scared of that. I don’t know how to turn it off, I just want to protect myself, so I don’t feel the way I’m feeling right now. I FEEL LIKE CRAP! I FEEL LIKE I SHOULDN’T BE THEIR FRIEND! Sometimes I think of just going to school, work, and just hang out with my family and “Boyfriend”. It seems like they’re okay without me and I’m heartbroken to know that they can go out without me, which I know it’s true. My heart says one thing, my brain says another. I’m over-thinking shit
See Ya Later
Emmie <3
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